Choices
by bronxgrrl
Summary: One shot. Johnny finally makes his choice. Song fic about Johnny and Lulu.


**Choices **

_This is town is colder now. _

_I think it's sick of us. _

_It's time to make our move. _

_I'm shaking off the rust. _

Johnny was done. His father had been back nearly a year and not surprisingly it had been a hellish one. His father worked very hard to maintain his veneer of sanity but he was just as cruel and heartless as he had been when he was insane. He'd tried to kill Claudia a number of times, thankfully failing each time. She had actually found an unusual ally. After Sonny refused to team up with her she somehow ended up involved with Nicholas Cassadine. Anthony did some checking and decided that even he was intimidated by the Cassadines. They were way out of his league. Nicholas truly loved his sister and made sure she was safe. Johnny couldn't ask for more.

_I have my heart set_

_On anywhere but here _

_I'm staring down myself _

_Counting up the years_

On the other hand Anthony made sure Johnny was involved in every move he made. He claimed it was so Johnny could be an equal partner but Johnny really suspected it was to make sure he could never get out. The more crimes he was a party too the more Anthony had to hold over his head. Secretly Johnny had been feeding information to Jason Morgan to help take his father down and destroy the Zaccara empire for good. Sonny had left town with Kate Howard a few months after his son went into his coma. The life had taken too much from him and Sonny couldn't do it anymore. Jason took over the business and had been running it with a firm and steady hand ever since.

_Steady hands just take the wheel _

_Every glance is killing me _

_Time to make one last appeal _

_For the life I lead_

Now things were coming to a head. Jason's plans were coming to fruition and everything would be going up in a hail of gunfire and flames. Jason told Johnny he could run things once his father was taken down but Johnny was done. He'd nearly crossed the line a million times and killed his father himself but in the end he decided to be the man he wanted to be, not the one he was born to be.

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, can u see what I see_

That meant it was time to leave this place. Port Charles had completely changed his life. It had shown him that there was a life outside of Crimson Point's walls. There was happiness, laughter and love. It has also shown him just how fast it can all be lost. With just one ricochet bullet. He would never forgive himself for Michael's coma even though he hadn't pulled the trigger himself. If he really wanted to be honest with himself it was the catalyst for everything he was setting into motion now. After the shooting he'd gone into a very dark place. Figuring he was destined to be his father, he jettisoned everything, ok really everyone, who could ever matter to him. If he was going to be a monster he wanted to make sure only he suffered for his actions, no one else.

_  
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push  
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...  
Steady feet, don't fail me now  
Gonna run till you can't walk  
But something pulls my focus out  
And I'm standing down..._

Something odd had happened when his father got out. He realized he could never be Anthony. He could never turn off his conscious or his heart. Anthony had no conscious so it was easy for him but Johnny, well he always felt things deeply. No matter how much he tried to push those feelings away they never disappeared. Particularly the feelings he had for her.

His bags were packed and loaded into his car. His father was in the city so he wouldn't notice Johnny was gone until he returned by then Jason's plans will have been put into motion. Anthony may assume that Johnny was already eliminated. God he hoped Jason was as good as he seemed. This could all backfire so easily on them all. No time to doubt now, the choice was made.

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're here not there  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, you don't need_

_What u need, what u need..._

He got in his car and pulled out his phone. He texted:

_I choose you. If you choose me grab a bag and meet me behind the Qs compound._

His heart pounded in his chest. His decision had been made months ago but it took time to make sure everything was arranged. In order for it to work no one could know what he and Jason were planning. It was a gamble he had to take. He might have lost her already. There's no reason she should still care but she felt things deeply, like he did so he had to hope she hadn't given up on him yet. Still this was the longest drive he'd ever taken in his life, even at 100 mph.

_Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be  
Oh, do u see what I see..._

When he got to the Quartermaine compound he kept driving around the outer perimeter to get to the back. He was trying to decide how long he should wait. He would wait all night if that's what it took but realistically he had to be gone by daybreak. As he turned the last corner he saw her. His heart nearly flew out of his chest. She was sitting on a suitcase and had a backpack on her shoulder. She looked like an angel in the moonlight. He'll pulled up in front of her and she climbed in.

"How the hell did you get all that together so fast?"

"I've been packed for months."

"You were that sure of me? Of us?"

"I couldn't let myself think that you and I would never be together. It was a little too horrible to contemplate. Besides Spencers don't give up, especially when the odds are stacked against them."

He leaned over and kissed her deeply. It felt like a drink of cool water after months in the desert. He pulled back and saw her smiling.

"Where are we headed", she asked.

"You once mentioned running off to Canada with me. You still up for it?"

"Sounds perfect".

_Lyrics from Stop and Stare by One Republic_


End file.
